In my journey, I have been the recipient of many parent's angst about their teenager who has rejected religion in one way or another. Perhaps it is a child brought up in the church, was always at every children's event and when they reach adolescence they say...."um I don't think I believe this"...or there is the young adult who has searched and had an open heart but the rhetoric they hear just doesn't make any sense and so they feel they have no choice but to reject it and become a "non-believer." Finally, there are the youth who have not heard any part of the Good News, except the shaming and judgmental parts - which by the way; why is that what always get the press? And they say, "if that is what religion is all about I don't want anything to do with it."
Except for the last example, these revelations usually come at great distress for their family and parents especially. They fear they have done something wrong, that they have failed somewhere along the way, and that their child's lack of conviction is somehow a reflection on them.
1) Questions about faith and about God are not all bad! Being brave enough to ask a question that lays out the parts of God that are too fantastic to believe - is a sign of faith. One has to believe in something to question it. Of course, if you wanted to belittle, and deride - belief is not part of that, but most of the time a child on a faith journey is not belittling but truly searching.
2) Religion - the man made belief systems of our denominations are but a container of the Good News that God has intervened in our human story. If this container isn't providing what is needed, there are alot more out there. As a parent, I have asked myself how I would feel if my child were tell me they wanted to change containers....while I would have to be sure they knew what they were doing - in the end, why would I stop them. Something is better than nothing. Journey on, keep me up to date on what you are learning, let's talk about what is feeding you out that other jar...
3) Faith through transitions - As our children go through different stages of their life; achieving "upper classmen" status, graduating, college, young adulthood - as parents we have to be able to talk about our own faith as we walked those paths. Not as a lesson on what to do like me, or what not to do like me...but rather, "I remember feeling alone in a crowd." "I know you will be tempted by lifestyles." "You are an amazing example of living the life that Christ has talked about." Words that empathize, warn, affirm and then follow them with some words of faith. "When I don't know what to do, I turn to the scriptures for help." "Do you pray?" Share your faith! I once heard the quote, "You can argue with someone's beliefs, but you can't argue with their experience." How have you experienced God? Start there! You might be surprised the doors it opens.
4) Remember your baptism - as baptized children our faith informs us that God has claimed this child has his own. It is irrevocable, and you can't wash it off. Sure, you can walk away from it, but the seal is there and my trust and belief is that God does not let that lost sheep wander without the hope that it will return and if needed he will go and get it - maybe not till the time has come to say farewell, but I trust that God doesn't make mistakes and it is God that acts in baptism, not us....so it never hurts to remind a baptized, agnostic, child of God, that God is with them, even if they don't want him there....
unfinished............
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