In my journey, I have been the recipient of many parent's angst about their teenager who has rejected religion in one way or another. Perhaps it is a child brought up in the church, was always at every children's event and when they reach adolescence they say...."um I don't think I believe this"...or there is the young adult who has searched and had an open heart but the rhetoric they hear just doesn't make any sense and so they feel they have no choice but to reject it and become a "non-believer." Finally, there are the youth who have not heard any part of the Good News, except the shaming and judgmental parts - which by the way; why is that what always get the press? And they say, "if that is what religion is all about I don't want anything to do with it."
Except for the last example, these revelations usually come at great distress for their family and parents especially. They fear they have done something wrong, that they have failed somewhere along the way, and that their child's lack of conviction is somehow a reflection on them.
1) Questions about faith and about God are not all bad! Being brave enough to ask a question that lays out the parts of God that are too fantastic to believe - is a sign of faith. One has to believe in something to question it. Of course, if you wanted to belittle, and deride - belief is not part of that, but most of the time a child on a faith journey is not belittling but truly searching.
2) Religion - the man made belief systems of our denominations are but a container of the Good News that God has intervened in our human story. If this container isn't providing what is needed, there are alot more out there. As a parent, I have asked myself how I would feel if my child were tell me they wanted to change containers....while I would have to be sure they knew what they were doing - in the end, why would I stop them. Something is better than nothing. Journey on, keep me up to date on what you are learning, let's talk about what is feeding you out that other jar...
3) Faith through transitions - As our children go through different stages of their life; achieving "upper classmen" status, graduating, college, young adulthood - as parents we have to be able to talk about our own faith as we walked those paths. Not as a lesson on what to do like me, or what not to do like me...but rather, "I remember feeling alone in a crowd." "I know you will be tempted by lifestyles." "You are an amazing example of living the life that Christ has talked about." Words that empathize, warn, affirm and then follow them with some words of faith. "When I don't know what to do, I turn to the scriptures for help." "Do you pray?" Share your faith! I once heard the quote, "You can argue with someone's beliefs, but you can't argue with their experience." How have you experienced God? Start there! You might be surprised the doors it opens.
4) Remember your baptism - as baptized children our faith informs us that God has claimed this child has his own. It is irrevocable, and you can't wash it off. Sure, you can walk away from it, but the seal is there and my trust and belief is that God does not let that lost sheep wander without the hope that it will return and if needed he will go and get it - maybe not till the time has come to say farewell, but I trust that God doesn't make mistakes and it is God that acts in baptism, not us....so it never hurts to remind a baptized, agnostic, child of God, that God is with them, even if they don't want him there....
unfinished............
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Snow days
It was a great joy that I was able to watch it snow on Thursday. I had not place to go and a warm place to watch from and did it ever come down! I was impressed as well, that it seemed the community had heeded all the warnings and there was no traffic for most of the day. What an odd and beautiful sight to see 6 inches of snow, undisturbed on a street!
It didn't take long until the plows got out and started making messes of all the pristine snow - but I have this back yard...it is many acres big and somewhat isolated from foot traffic - so I got to enjoy the glistening flakes for another day. And then there has slowly appeared the evidence of movement.
First were the set of three foot prints treking from one corner of the yard, all the way to the hill just behind the church. Evidence of a sled between the footprints and even a hat in the snow half way to the hill. Then the birds began looking for food at the feeder. Little prints became big ones as footprints to the feeder appeared. The squirrels began digging around the foot of the tree looking for that acorn they knew was there and there were even some large webbed foot prints in the middle of the yard that form a perfect V. No trail in or out, just a V - my guess is a goose wandered a moment and then flew off. I can now see deer prints around the oak tree and the crows are making a mess of the feeder. I wouldn't have known of the visitors to our yard without the prints I can keep track of.
Praising God for a clean slate of new fallen snow, the moments to appreciate what "new beginnings" can look like and then thankful too that we are not left alone and sterile too long - visitors come and leave evidence of their journey and bring us back to routines that propel us to the next new day.
Wonder when the next snow day will come????
It didn't take long until the plows got out and started making messes of all the pristine snow - but I have this back yard...it is many acres big and somewhat isolated from foot traffic - so I got to enjoy the glistening flakes for another day. And then there has slowly appeared the evidence of movement.
First were the set of three foot prints treking from one corner of the yard, all the way to the hill just behind the church. Evidence of a sled between the footprints and even a hat in the snow half way to the hill. Then the birds began looking for food at the feeder. Little prints became big ones as footprints to the feeder appeared. The squirrels began digging around the foot of the tree looking for that acorn they knew was there and there were even some large webbed foot prints in the middle of the yard that form a perfect V. No trail in or out, just a V - my guess is a goose wandered a moment and then flew off. I can now see deer prints around the oak tree and the crows are making a mess of the feeder. I wouldn't have known of the visitors to our yard without the prints I can keep track of.
Praising God for a clean slate of new fallen snow, the moments to appreciate what "new beginnings" can look like and then thankful too that we are not left alone and sterile too long - visitors come and leave evidence of their journey and bring us back to routines that propel us to the next new day.
Wonder when the next snow day will come????
Monday, January 7, 2013
When God Makes a Circle
This notion has been rolling around in my head for some time now. Especially as I have returned to the St. Louis area and find myself in uncannily familiar places doing oddly familiar things. I smile as God connects my loose ends and makes a circle in my life. I ponder a book about looking for the ways that God makes circles in our life, most of the time beyond our conciousness.
Among my many circles is the return to chaplaincy. For those who know me, you know that chaplaincy was my first calling to ministry. It is where I am able to use my caregiver gifts and graces to offer encouragement, support and healing the most. My time in the local church was anything but chaplaincy and I often felt I was floundering to accomplish a task or goal. Yet, I learned more than I ever would have about church or people or ministry than if I had never done it. Those too loose ends come together in the present setting where I am part caregiver and part church pastor. I smile as I walk into the hospital where I did my CPE training and would never have thought I would be back. As I drive around west county and see the landmarks that I knew as a college student at Maryville - I smile at the ends that click together.
I think God desires circles for us, and I am trying to be aware of them for me and see if there are places I can lead others into finding this expression of God's love for us.
Among my many circles is the return to chaplaincy. For those who know me, you know that chaplaincy was my first calling to ministry. It is where I am able to use my caregiver gifts and graces to offer encouragement, support and healing the most. My time in the local church was anything but chaplaincy and I often felt I was floundering to accomplish a task or goal. Yet, I learned more than I ever would have about church or people or ministry than if I had never done it. Those too loose ends come together in the present setting where I am part caregiver and part church pastor. I smile as I walk into the hospital where I did my CPE training and would never have thought I would be back. As I drive around west county and see the landmarks that I knew as a college student at Maryville - I smile at the ends that click together.
I think God desires circles for us, and I am trying to be aware of them for me and see if there are places I can lead others into finding this expression of God's love for us.
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