A Special Place in Hell

I have an ever evolving theology of heaven and hell. I do not know God as a judging, condeming God so I tend to believe that we all get to heaven and that we really make our own hells -

My mother was rearended while she was parked at a McDonald's parking lot. Apparently she was hit rather hard because she hit her head on the steering wheel at impact. The driver of the vehicle that hit her drove off in enough of a hurry to inspire some witnesses to come forward and she has since been found...but that's probably another story...

Mom was OK on Monday, but developed a headache on Tuesday and ended up with brain surgery to remove a subdural hematoma from her temporal lobe. She in Barnes Hospital recovering from a very miserable surgery.

I worked as a Physical Therapist for 14 years, first at Jewish and then at Barnes-Jewish in the rehab department - taking of care many craniotomy patients...

Now the HELL part...One of the most difficult things for a caregiver to do, is to become a patient. Let alone a patient in the hospital they work in...you know too much, you know too much about about what is happening physically to a patient, you know too much about the system that keeps you waiting for 4 hours for "emergency" surgery, you know too much about the risk factors and potential outcomes. I have been in this hell for the last 24 hours or so.

Some would say that hell is a permanent place, but that too doesn't ring true to me, because where is redemption if that is the case? Rather our hells are of our own making and therefore our release from those hells our own to choose. Today, Mom is recovering and my hell is being redeemed to a heaven. I am thankful, I am blessed, I am tired!
Peace to all.